Dialog question
Asked by C. Richard Johnson on May 19, 2023
First of all allow me to be as profuse as possible thanking you for the facilities of YNB and Writer’s Guild. I would never have dreamt that such as this were available.
I know that it is common to have each speaker in a conversation have his own paragraph, so that the reader is able to keep straight who is speaking. Is it ever permissible to keep a short exchange all in one paragraph?
Example:
“Where are you on this?” the boss asked. “Haven’t I told you that you were supposed to be all over this?” “Yes ma’am” he replied. “Then where is the report?” she kept hammering.
Mr. Jerry, along with answering the above question, please feel free to edit the heck out of the grammar and punctuation above. I get confused by the style books vs. the industry standards.
Also, is it dialog or dialogue? E-mail or email? Cooperation or co-operation? I am old enough to remember when it was bad form to truncate everything like they do now. I spend writing time worrying about stuff like that.
Jerry's Answer
Thanks for your kind comments, Richard. Glad you're benefiting from the training.
Rarely does it work to have more than one person speaking in a paragraph, and your example is one where an editor would want those separated. We readers still get it that it's a rapid back-and-forth.
You don't need asked in the attribution for a question, because the question mark already tells us it's a question. That said, using asked is still common and will not get you in trouble, but I never use it.
“Where are you on this?” the boss said. “Haven’t I told you that you were supposed to be all over this?”
“Yes, [you need the comma here] ma’am,[and here if you use an attribution, but you don't need attribution here because there are only two people conversing and you would have already established who they are. If you DO choose to use attribution, replied has become archaic and I would simply use he said.
“Then where is the report?” [give the reader credit; you don't need she kept hammering, because we can see that, and we know who's speaking].
Also, is it dialog or dialogue? [either is acceptable; just be consistent so a publisher can easily change them to their preference if they wish]
E-mail or email? [ditto]
Cooperation or co-operation? [the former; the language is largely moving away from hyphens]
"I spend writing time worrying about stuff like that." Try to get over that. Style stuff is largely minor; make the writing and your story paramount. :)