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Dialog using foreign language
Asked by Richard Westover on April 17, 2020
Dear Jerry,
I have dialog between a European and a Zulu. The European can speak Zulu so they converse in this language.
I wanted to give a flavour of the language. I used occasional Zulu word in italics with the English translation immediately after (which I can't show in this dialog box but Angazi and Cabanga below would be in italics, the translation being 'I don't know' and 'Think.' Do you think this works?
“And what is the great white chief wanting with you?” the Zulu said.
“Angazi, I don’t know. I have been asking myself.”
“Cabanga! Think! He does not like fools.”
Jerry's Answer
Such stuff is always tricky, Richard, and as a reader I'm not sure I would recognize that what follows the italicized words are the definitions. Plus, it's unlikely someone would use both their language and English for the same thought, would they?
You want to render this in such a way that it doesn't pull the reader from your fictional construct, maybe like this:
“And what is the great white chief wanting with you?” the Zulu said.
“Angazi.”
“Well, I don't know either. That's why I'm asking.”
“I have been asking myself.”
“Cabanga!” the Zulu said.
“I'm trying to think!”
“He does not like fools.”