Elevator Pitch
Asked by John Heskett on December 29, 2020
Hello Jerry,
The elevator pitch discussions today were highly informative and prompted me to attempt a rewrite. Would you be so kind as to review my pitch rewrite? Thank you for all you do.
We follow the afterlife redemption of a man killed in prison and his search for his murdered wife.
Spirit beings take an interest in the dead man and an immortal theoretical physicist, noting their peculiar quantum entanglement. Leveraging this bond, the ferryman of the dead and the mother of the Devil devise a covert plan for the dead, offering the man a second chance by guiding people through do-overs in their past life.
While on a time-traveling mission, the man becomes stranded on earth one year in the past. His dead wife joins him, and he now has enough helpers to open a mission branch on earth.
Jerry's Answer
Thanks, John!
It's way too long, so consider this:
Spirit beings take an interest in a man killed in prison who is searching for his murdered wife. The ferryman of the dead and the mother of the Devil offer him a second chance by guiding people through do-overs of their lives.
[The last bit is intriguing but it's too much to consider tat this stage; if someone resonates with this, that will just be icing on the cake.]