Ask Jerry
Manners of attribution
Asked by Ora McCarthy on May 27, 2020
Hi,
I've heard you repeat often that we should avoid attribution tags besides for 'he said, she said' – no shouted, growled, shrieked, etc. What I want to ask is whether this also means to avoid adverbs – said kindly, said angrily, etc. I know this can often be shown instead of told, but sometimes, especially in a conversation charged with many emotions, that slows down the dialogue: "He slammed his fist on the table. 'No way!'" – If you have a sentence like that with every line of dialogue it gets clumsy. I find it's sometimes a toss-up between cutting dialogue to the bone, keeping the action moving, and using only 'said'.
What do you say? 🙂
Thanks!
Jerry's Answer
Ora, I have no problem with shouted, hollered, or yelled, because said just doesn't look right with a raised voice line.
As for action beats, I use those sparingly too, because usually just two people are conversing. If you use an action beat for one, you need neither a beat nor attribution for the response, because it's clear who's speaking.