Quality of writing

Good to hear from you, Samantha. You're right to try to get a professional's view of your writing, though it's good too to have the support and encouragement of friends and family.

I sense you want me to be honest and straightforward, so despite that you're young and new at this, I will be that. That you love to write is a great start.

Here are a few tips on what you sent:

Will[iam] [I'd start with him as Will, if that's what most people call him; later you can have a parent or authority refer to him as William and that will make sense] Chase waited for his signal [I would make this one sentence to keep things moving, so replace the period with a comma], his ear piece [earpiece is one word] humming. [you can delete from the noise on the other end because you've already described the noise, and where else would it come from but the other end?].

[start a new paragraph here and name his friend; there's no reason to withhold that] [His friend sat] [Name] beside him [delete and] appeared [delete as] nervous as ever; [this is a misuse of a semicolon, which should be used to separate two complete clauses; replace it with a comma],  cracking his knuckles [too much stage direction here, and a person can't both crack his knuckles and bite a finger at the same time] and biting [if you DO use this, you don't need on or one if you just say a finger; and neither do you need in particular].

[start a new paragraph here] “’[insert the single quote mark first, then go back and insert the double quote before it so the single doesn't come out  backward] Don’t worry,’ [Name], you said.” [you're already showing this, so you don't need to tell it: Will’s friend began quoting him with a finger still on his lips.] “’This will be an easy job’, you said.” [this is actually a nice touch, the friend sort of mimicking him] [this is vague; what man? whose accent?and why would anyone confuse the voice of a friend sitting next to them?]The man’s strong Australian accent made it impossible to confuse his voice with anyone else’s he knew.

Will gave a slight smile [this is writtenese; just say it: Will smiled. and don't hedge with slight] “It will be easy[can delete easy].”

His friend[use his name] turned to face him [you don't need this; the reader will assume if he's speaking with Will, he's looking at him] with half [again, don't hedge with half] frustrated, half [ditto] worried eyes [and pick between worried and frustrated; by using both you slow the reader and cut the power in half]. “That’s what you said the last time we jumped out of a plane just before your parachute was sucked into the propeller.” [this is unrealistic dialogue really directed at the reader--sort of an information dump; clearly they would both know what he's referring to without spelling it all out, so what he more likely would say is something like : "That's what you said last time, and we both know how that went..."]

[does this imply that this is what they're doing here too, waiting to parachute or skydive; why not make that clear in the first line by saying ...signal to jump and stipulating that the static was coming from the pilot?]

Will’s smile grew but he tried to remain serious.[don't think you need this] “Well [you would need a comma after Well, but it's a good place to trim dialogue, which is almost always advisable] I made it, didn’t I?”

So here's my suggested revision:

Will Chase crouched, his earpiece humming with static, waiting for his signal from the pilot to jump.

Fred beside him appeared nervous as ever, biting a finger. "'Don’t worry,' you said. 'This'll be an easy job,' you said."

Will smiled. “It will be.”

“That’s what you said last time, and we both how that went.”

“I made it, didn’t I?”

"Barely," Fred said.

[btw, how would a jumper survive if his chute got tangled in the prop? and wouldn't that kill the engine too?]