Ask Jerry
Stage direction and actions
Asked by Samantha Hawkins on May 4, 2023
Dear Jerry
How do I know when a character’s action would be considered stage direction?
To remove all character actions feels unnatural. So, where’s the line between the two, and how do I make sure I don’t veer into stage direction—when all I want is to create an image of the character?
Thank you, and have a lovely weekend!
Jerry's Answer
When you've gone from triggering the theaters of the readers' minds--giving them just enough so they can imagine the scene--to telling them every gesture, you've slipped into too much stage direction.
Example: John moved to the window. Children played in the driveway below, their squeals of laughter reaching him.
Bad example: John moved to the window and looked out. Down below he scanned the driveway and saw children playing and heard them squealing and laughing.
See how we don't need to be told he looked out? We're in his point of view, so if we describe a scene, we know he saw it, and if he saw it, he had to look. Down below is redundant, and we don't need to be told he scanned the driveway and saw or that he heard them squealing and laughing. Just show it. :)