Ask Jerry
Third person limited
Asked by Samantha Hawkins on January 18, 2024
Hi Jerry,
I find it considerably easier to ‘show’ in the first person. However, some stories demand third-person limited.
How can I make sure I’m ‘showing’ while writing in third-person limited?
I always follow the rule of pretending the main character is the camera, focusing on what they can see, hear, feel, etc. Even so, it comes across as too ‘telling.’ I don’t want that, since the narrative feels far too detached and almost omniscient. Both aren’t good. I want to aim for that first person closeness, but from a third limited perspective.
Thanks very much.
Jerry's Answer
Telling has nothing to do with first or third person, Samantha. You can fall into that either way. Watch for state-of-being verbs like was.
It was cold.
I was cold.
He was tall.
He looked tall to me.
Rather: She raised her collar and shoved her hands deep into her pockets, turning her face from the biting wind.
I raised my collar and shoved my hands deep into my pockets, turning my face from the biting wind.
He had to duck as he stepped through the door.
He crouched next to me to get into the photograph.